curiouscat | Jellicle Cats, come out tonight!

We've met, we've fought, I know him quite well. And I know he's a petty annoying bastard I would really love to destroy. But I can't, I must be 'better'.

I would lower them, I don't even know if I'll remember presents. I want to be more sober but my brother will have other ideas.

You couldn't destroy him. I don't care who's better, I just know that he is worse.

Your brother does give good gifts sometimes.

I'm ignoring him the best I can but I won't always be able to. Worse or not, it's inevitable we'll fight again. I just have to keep as many people out of it as possible.

Eh, I usually get the strangest gifts from him but then, we're usually both very drunk on or around my birthday so it makes sense.

You can't keep me out.

Rumpleteazer just starts hanging off him when he's near a jewelery store. I'm not quite positive how she does it either. I doubt it would work for me, I don't have that effect on people.

I can always try. Naive, I know, but I can try.

No, you're not quite as adorable as your sister. She tends to persuade people to do a lot of things. It's that sad look she has, it's hard to resist.

I don't know how you can be so old and so naive. No offence.

I've never been adorable, I have more the sort of face that inspires punching, so I got better at ducking than begging.

I suppose it's less being naive and more being hopeful. I want to believe that I can fix the problem and no one will get hurt.

I've never punched you. Gently whacked the back of your head but often you do earn it. I wouldn't ever really hurt you, seems pointless to punch you, you'd never learn your lesson anyway.

In my experience I always get hurt.

Sure, but that's why I'm stealing from you and reporting to him.

Let me protect you and your sister, I know I could keep you both safe if you let me.

Good point. So you did steal my briefcase? I knew it.

I can keep my sister safe myself, thank you very much.

I don't have any briefcase. I much prefer stealing shiny things. Could you start having more shiny things?

I'm sure but if you ever need my help, I will help you regardless of the issue.

No. And are you the bastard that took my watch? That was proper silver, it's very expensive!

You will try. But don't worry, I won't ask for it.

If I was, why would I admit to it? You would be a horrible policeman. But then, so are most policemen.

I know you think I'm useless but I can help. I'm not that weak.

I would just like to know where it is. I'd offer to pay the price for it off whoever has it. It's very valuable to me.

You're nice. Weakness isn't the issue.

I know nothing. It's always healthier not to know things. I know nothing and it wasn't me.

I'm not half as nice as I pretend to be.

I know, I know. It's just a shame, scuffs and marks and all, I'd rather have that one than buy a replacement. I don't like to lose gifts.

I've never seen you beat anyone to death.

Not that I've ever seen anything like that. I don't see things and what I see I don't remember and what I remember I don't tell anyone.

Give me half a chance with Macavity, I would love to beat him down.

Whatever keeps you alive I suppose. I'll just buy a new watch. A cheap one no one will want to steal, maybe something ugly, clunky and fake gold.

I hope you won't fight again.

My sister just said that you don't have to, she'll give you one. She's picking one out right now. She has excellent taste, so don't worry.

Tugger and Demeter express the same wish. Trouble is, it's easy to say that when he's not attacking you constantly. If it's not sending his goons after me, it's stealing my things and if it's not that, it's something else. I'm trying to ignore him but something will give eventually.

I'm sure. I look forward to it, she has excellent taste.

He just wants an excuse to kill you. And it would be slow and painful and I don't want to be there, so I'd rather you don't give. If it's not too much trouble.

She says you have to kiss her for it.

As long as I put up a fight. I hate him, I want to hurt him as well. But I know I'm not strong enough to defeat him. Yet. Give it time, I'll prevent him from killing me.

On the cheek or hand or what?

How? Seriously, how? You don't even use weapons.

What do I know, I'm just glad I don't have to kiss anyone.

That you know of. You really don't know how I'd fight if I had to fight.

I'm not making out with your sister, before she gets her hopes up. She's still a child to me, it's creepy. And yes, I'm glad of that too.

It might not be a fair fight to begin with. Just don't. No one stands a chance against him.

You tell her that, I'm not part of that discussion. It's bad enough she makes out with others.

I do. I can take him. I just need to be ready to do it and more well armed. But for now, I won't. I promised my brother I wouldn't seek a fight.

I have. MANY TIMES. She ignores me a lot. Last time I sat her down and explained how much I didn't want to kiss her and she spent the whole week grinding on me every chance she got.

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horriblecat - 2015-06-15 00:49 (UTC) - Expand