Jellicle Cats, come out tonight!

[curiouscat]

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[horriblecat]

Oh, last week when I had tea with the Queen, the President of America and Macavity and we discussed you, he didn't tell me his plans. Which is strange, since usually he makes sure to share everything with me and the homies.

[munkustrap]

I was just asking, you didn't have to answer. I just would like to be able to get to work and back without having to worry about my car or my stuff or myself. Well, worry is a strong word, I'm more pissed off than worried or concerned.

If it wasn't for my brother, I would have challenged him to another round by now.

[horriblecat]

If it wasn't for my sister I'd not be stealing things from you, but she matters to me rather more than anything you'd threaten.

No offence.

[munkustrap]

None taken. If you have to keep her safe, you have to keep her safe. I'd rather fill in some annoying forms than see her hurt. I just would rather have my stuff and you both safe.

I could protect you, you know?

[horriblecat]

We don't need protection. We can take care of each other, we always have.

I don't trust you to do it, you have to learn to worry about yourself first. At least we know when to run and no one ever catches up to us.

[munkustrap]

I believe it's my job to put myself in danger, I have to protect everyone else. I can take the pain, I can survive. I have to make sure everyone else is fine.

I can hide well, I chose not to. I don't fear that bastard.

[horriblecat]

Because you don't know him as I do.

I like diamonds too, for the record.

[munkustrap]

Creepy violent asshole. With a weird sexual manner I don't approve of. But I know plenty, my girlfriend sang a whole song about him. Very educational.

I'm not getting either of you diamonds. Lower your expectations to like a snow globe.

[horriblecat]

Really not the same as witnessing. And even further from experiencing.

Why would I lower my expectations? That's already what I'm getting, might as well aspire. I'm not scared of heights.

[munkustrap]

We've met, we've fought, I know him quite well. And I know he's a petty annoying bastard I would really love to destroy. But I can't, I must be 'better'.

I would lower them, I don't even know if I'll remember presents. I want to be more sober but my brother will have other ideas.

[horriblecat]

You couldn't destroy him. I don't care who's better, I just know that he is worse.

Your brother does give good gifts sometimes.

[munkustrap]

I'm ignoring him the best I can but I won't always be able to. Worse or not, it's inevitable we'll fight again. I just have to keep as many people out of it as possible.

Eh, I usually get the strangest gifts from him but then, we're usually both very drunk on or around my birthday so it makes sense.

[horriblecat]

You can't keep me out.

Rumpleteazer just starts hanging off him when he's near a jewelery store. I'm not quite positive how she does it either. I doubt it would work for me, I don't have that effect on people.

[munkustrap]

I can always try. Naive, I know, but I can try.

No, you're not quite as adorable as your sister. She tends to persuade people to do a lot of things. It's that sad look she has, it's hard to resist.

[horriblecat]

I don't know how you can be so old and so naive. No offence.

I've never been adorable, I have more the sort of face that inspires punching, so I got better at ducking than begging.

[munkustrap]

I suppose it's less being naive and more being hopeful. I want to believe that I can fix the problem and no one will get hurt.

I've never punched you. Gently whacked the back of your head but often you do earn it. I wouldn't ever really hurt you, seems pointless to punch you, you'd never learn your lesson anyway.

[horriblecat]

In my experience I always get hurt.

Sure, but that's why I'm stealing from you and reporting to him.

[munkustrap]

Let me protect you and your sister, I know I could keep you both safe if you let me.

Good point. So you did steal my briefcase? I knew it.

[horriblecat]

I can keep my sister safe myself, thank you very much.

I don't have any briefcase. I much prefer stealing shiny things. Could you start having more shiny things?

[munkustrap]

I'm sure but if you ever need my help, I will help you regardless of the issue.

No. And are you the bastard that took my watch? That was proper silver, it's very expensive!

[horriblecat]

You will try. But don't worry, I won't ask for it.

If I was, why would I admit to it? You would be a horrible policeman. But then, so are most policemen.

[munkustrap]

I know you think I'm useless but I can help. I'm not that weak.

I would just like to know where it is. I'd offer to pay the price for it off whoever has it. It's very valuable to me.

[horriblecat]

You're nice. Weakness isn't the issue.

I know nothing. It's always healthier not to know things. I know nothing and it wasn't me.

[munkustrap]

I'm not half as nice as I pretend to be.

I know, I know. It's just a shame, scuffs and marks and all, I'd rather have that one than buy a replacement. I don't like to lose gifts.

[horriblecat]

I've never seen you beat anyone to death.

Not that I've ever seen anything like that. I don't see things and what I see I don't remember and what I remember I don't tell anyone.